The Concept of Time

Exactly six months ago was my last post. I have absolute zero recollection why and what happened. What made me stop? I seem to have been living in a twilight zone. It felt like I have gone somewhere and now it's time to face the reality. 

But one thing for sure, time continues to move on. There is a Chinese saying, time is the most cruel entity and it waits for no one. The world doesn't stop because you stop. The world doesn't mourn for anyone's death nor celebrate anyone's failure. Time heals everything and time is ruthless. 

Is it also true that time magnifies as we age? When we were younger, time seems plenty and the reverse is that when we age, time seems to travel at a flash. Regardless the last 13 months since COVID-19 happened, time seems to have a different meaning to many people.

Most people are forced indoors and operate from home. We have to adapt quickly to the new norms. Many relationships were formed or ended because of the pandemic. In any case, our lives have been forever disrupted. We are (I know I am) forced to confront our own fears, discomfort and uncertainties ahead. 

Ironically at the same time I know I cannot live another COVID-19 year. Staying complacent is no longer a choice. Perhaps it was the many deaths during this period. Or many the solitude moments have brought out many old and outdated thinking and behaviours. I have become less tolerant of excuses, behaviours, thinking and doing (mainly my own). I am beginning to witness more of my conditioned self whom I loathed and questioned. 

Who am I? Who am I becoming? What am I doing with my life? Is this all is it of my life? How do I want to live the rest of my life? How can I add value to others? What legacy am I living behind?

The passing of Uncle Pete made me realised that I aspired to be like him as a teacher. I want to be remembered for what I did. The person I am. I want to face my fears. I want to challenge my fears, my own limitations, push more boundaries and do different things out of my comfort zone. I want to shock my old system and trick myself. I want to make fun of myself, make tons of mistakes and learn to get better.

I want to throw old vocabulary out of the window and wow myself. I want to free myself from whom I think I need to be. I want to live 2021 differently. I want to look back to this day and think wow I am a different person. How would you like to live 2021 and the rest of your life. Here's the manifesto which I suspect will change as I move along.